the Heart of the Matter of gift giving.....

good morning.....sitting here with my cup of coffee at the computer and this morning is nice because a beam of sunlight is warming me as I type, and it's warming my grumpy holiday heart right now, lol. It's no secret to those that know me well that Christmas is not my favorite holiday, mostly because I feel like I can never celebrate it in a way that feels like who I am. Maybe that's because I'm still figuring out who I am. I do know one thing. NOT a big fan of shopping in holiday chaos, not a big fan of buying stuff because everybody is buying stuff in holiday hoopla. sighhhhhhh.......

so what about the "heart" of the matter of gift giving? These pictures above were taken at Christina Sell's workshop. The second one is Cami Cote from Missoula, Montana who was kind enough to demo her shining heart in a demo with Christina. I guess I wanted to share this picture because here sitting in the sunlight beam coming through the window, and here pondering the whole gift giving thing during Christmas, this picture reminds me of the best gifts I've ever received in my life, and they are gifts that can't be bought....AND....you never know when you are going to receive them.

They are when teachers or fellow students help you open your heart like this. This is such a great thing about yoga demos. Christina called it "come-n-watch-asana"......and I love that because I know it's a cue that someone is going to get a gift that could potentially give them an "ah-ha" moment in their body and ultimately in their heart. Now this gift is usually not something that is easy to receive either, lol. Sometimes its downright challenging your edge's edge!! And then there is that wrapping paper of this gift, and that is the loving energy of everyone watching....also not easy to receive!! But there is somthing about this gift of come-n-watch-asana that makes any wrapped up gift under the tree just pale in comparison. And the cool thing is, everyone benefits. I get "ah-ha" moments watching someone receive this gift. I get ah-ha moments giving these gifts as a teacher. i get "ah-ha" moments being the lucky demo yogi. It's like the gift that keeps on giving, and I mean really!!

Funny, as I'm typing this, I am realizing that I sometimes shy away from giving them sometimes because I don't want to make someone uncomfortable. But that's the whole point. We need to get out of our comfort zone to really be able to open the heart. My fear is that the discomfort will make someone not want to come back to yoga ever again. But if it weren't for that "discomfort", I wouldn't be who I am today, and I'm so grateful for every "ah-ha" gift of out of my comfort zone I've ever received in yoga. It has changed my life!

I was reading on Cami's facebook page about the gift she received at a Desiree' Rumbaugh workshop in 2008. She was definitely taken out of her comfort zone at the thought of doing inversions and arm balances, and then doing them the best she could. She said she was so inspired that she made some pretty big changes in her life. Since then, she has taken an Anusara Immersion with Karen at Garden Street Yoga, changed her diet and lost 100 pounds (wow!) and is now teaching Gentle Yoga in Missoula. Desiree' is going to be here for a workshop on January 8th and 9th, and I bet this will be a full circle feeling of the real Heart of the Matter for Cami because of the spark of inspiration she received from her to begin with. I love that about Anusara Yoga. This is a great gift giving story to me. And it reminds me that we shouldn't be afraid to give it, or recieve it, and we absolutely should participate in it at all levels of it. Because looks how it's affected Cami!! I don't even know her that well, and yet I really know her because I recognize the gifts received on this journey of Anusara Yoga. I feel like I really know her heart, and the many other hearts that have been transformed by the gifts of yoga.

Anyway, that's my gift giving thoughts for today. It's pulled me out of my funk a bit. I know when I'm in one, I need to journal and get to the Heart of the Matter, and I'm so glad for the gifts I have received that bring me there when I need to!!

Merry Gift Giving every day of your life!!!!